"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
