my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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