its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
