yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
