he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
