i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The air was thick with penises
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
