Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
