FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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