She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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