He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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