now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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