halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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