Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
