do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
