Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
