I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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