I want to have your abortion
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
