I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
