Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
