just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
