no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
