he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
