The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
