do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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