Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
