I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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