We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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