3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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