Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
