we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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