I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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