Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
