My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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