Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
