We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
