dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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