then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize