Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
