You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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