Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
