Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
