The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
