okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
