Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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