So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
