Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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