Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
