I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
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I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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