Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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