while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
