Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
