Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm at about main and main street
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
