He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
