Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
