I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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