i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
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You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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