after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
