So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
