i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
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All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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