it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
