I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
