Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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