so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
